Mulan vs Matchmaker
by xiao chan
Summary: It's Mulan's final chance to prove to the Matchmaker that she's truly talented and graceful. What happens when Shang unexepetedly shows up?


**A/N- **Okay peoples, this is a one-shot which means that I **will not** be making a second chapter to this story. Sorry, but the idea was only meant for one chapter.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Mulan, Grandmother Fa, Fa Li, and Fa Zhou. Or Shang. (DAMMIT!)

Mulan stared angrily at her toes, a blind rage blocking out her vision. She could not believe what had just happened.

Lo Pei, her best friend, gazed at her with a look of hopeless pity. "Was it really that bad?" He asked.

Mulan looked up at her friend and raised her eyebrows. "I just told you! Doesn't that sound pretty bad?" She growled. "I can't believe that he did that!"

"Could it have been for the best?"

"Well, I'll never know because that idiot just went out and ruined it for me, didn't he? And you know, that's not the only thing he's done either!"

He rolled his eyes. "Pray tell, what else did he do to you?"

"He almost killed me!"

"The bastard!" He replied sarcastically. "He saved your life, remember?"

"But he left me on that stupid mountain!"

"Did you expect him to tow you back home in the middle of a war?"

"He called me weak, and picked on me a lot during the training camp!"

"He thought you were a man!"

"He called me a liar!"

"But he followed your lead afterwards. And after that, he you had an extremely sweet moment!"

"He ruined it by saying, 'oh, you fight good.' Come on, Lo Pei, that's not even proper grammar. Not to mention he destroyed practically every chance that I ever hoped to have at making a match and finding a husband!"

Lo Pei looked at her thoughtfully. "I'm sure not without good reason."

* * *

**Earlier That Day**

"Mulan, I beg of you," Fa Li implored her clumsy daughter. "Please, _please_, do not set the matchmaker on fire this time!"

Mulan smiled nervously at the two women that had raised her. She bowed gracefully, just as a bride would and spoke softly, "I will not dishonor you."

She turned to her grandmother and said, "I'm surprised, grandmother. I thought you would want to find more lucky charms for me."

The grandmother gave her a mischievous grin and said, "Oh, I found you a lucky charm alright."

Fa Li and Mulan both looked sternly at the old woman. "What did you do now, Mama?" Fa Li asked warningly.

The grandmother merely smirked and replied, "You'll see."

At that moment, newly promoted General Shang walked up the group of women. "Hello, ladies," He bowed deeply.

Mulan bowed back to him, glad that there were already two patches of red on her painted cheeks. He would not notice her blush.

Fa Li looked at him with surprise. "What are you doing here, General Shang? What happened to your duties to the army?"

Shang shrugged. "No more. It is peace now, so there is nothing to keep me occupied. I wanted to see how Mulan would fare with the matchmaker's test."

Mulan's heartbeat increased uncomfortably. She disliked the idea of Shang watching her try to pass the test. His mere presence discomforted her.

"Mulan!" She turned around and saw her best friend run towards her. He was tall and lanky with a defined face and strong features. To many, she was considered lucky to have such a handsome friend.

"Lo Pei!" She cried jubilantly. She was about to hug him when she stopped herself and bowed. "I'm glad you're here."

"Of course! I wouldn't miss seeing you screw up for the world!" He teased.

Mulan gave up her façade of the graceful bride and punched her friend painfully on the arm. "If I mess up, it's on your head!"

Shang, who stood behind her, cleared her throat rather loudly. Mulan jumped as she remembered the man behind her. "Oh, sorry Shang. Shang, this is my best friend, Lo Pei."

Shang approached the man with a scowl on his face. "It's nice to meet you, Lo Pei." He gave him a mechanical nod.

Lo Pei smiled his famous smile, cause for many a woman to swoon. "It's nice to meet you too, Shang. I heard you've been giving my Mulan here a lot of trouble."

To this, Shang could merely grind his teeth.

Sensing a strange emotion emanating from General Shang, the small Grandmother piped up and said, "Lo Pei, how is your future bride coming along?"

Lo Pei's eyes softened. "She's beautiful, as usual."

Shang breathed a heavy sigh, as if he were relieved. Mulan pretended to gag, and Lo Pei grabbed her around the neck. "Hey, hey! I've got an appointment with the matchmaker, so stop!" She yelled.

He let her go immediately and smiled. "Do us proud, girl."

At that moment, the other ladies began to line up in front of the Matchmaker's home. Mulan gulped nervously, picked up her paper parasol and took her place at the end of the line. Fa Li, Grandmother Fa, Lo Pei, and Shang followed.

As the girls lined up, the matchmaker emerged and called out, "Fa Mulan!"

Mulan emerged silently from the lined with her head down and followed the large lady indoors.

Inside, Mulan was told to sit down on the cushion and recite the final admonition.

Outside, after a few minutes had passed, Grandmother Fa nudged Shang hard in the side. He nodded and ran up the building.

"Mulan, Mulan!" He cried as he ripped open the door and raced inside, catching the Matchmaker completely off her guard. "Mulan, you forgot your notes!" Holding out a scroll.

She gave him a look of pure terror. She shook her head vigorously and mouthed over and over, _"What do you think you're doing? Go away, go away!"_

The Matchmaker raised her carefully lined eyebrows and bowed with surprising grace for a woman so large to the General. "General Shang, it is an honor. Would you care to join us for tea?" She asked.

"Um, sure. Sounds good." Shang shrugged.

"Mulan, pour the tea," The Matchmaker demanded imperiously.

Mulan silently took the teapot and glared at Shang.

"Mulan! You are not allowed to look at a guest!" The matchmaker shouted.

She quickly looked down again and poured the tea, first Shang's, then the Matchmaker's, then her own. She set the pot down gracefully and quietly drank.

All of a sudden, Shang burst out into peals of laughter. He made quite a show out if it too, slapping his knee and shaking his shoulders.

The matchmaker smiled at him uncertainly and said, "Is there something that amuses you, sir?"

Through his laughter, Shang managed to gasp, "Just…it's just…" (laughter) "the thought of Mulan…" (laughter) "the thought of Mulan as a lady! It's just too much, honestly."

"What makes you say that?" The Matchmaker asked curiously.

"Well, I remember back in training camp when she spilt all the soup over everyone! Then when she was practicing too close to the Mess Hall tent, she knocked it over and food flew all over the camp! Just seeing her pour tea is ridiculous!" Shang continued to laugh hysterically.

The Matchmaker turned to Mulan with a strange, apprehensive look on her face. "Well, uh, Mulan, please recite the final admonition."

Mulan opened her mouth and was about to speak when Shang handed her a scroll. "Oh, here Mulan. Just in case you forget anything."

The Matchmaker narrowed her eyes at the scroll and asked, "What is that?"

Shang sipped some tea and said, "Oh, it's just the final admonition. She meant to bring it with her here, just in case she forgot anything."

That was the last straw. "Mulan, my services are not what you need. You need a miracle to become a bride! You will never get married, especially in your current state, and nothing will be able to change it! Get out! May I never see you again!"

Tears sprang up in Mulan's eyes as she rose gracefully, bowed and left the building. Shang bowed the Matchmaker as well and followed her lead.

Fa Li, Grandmother Fa, and Lo Pei were waiting anxiously outside. "Well?" Lo Pei asked expectantly. "How did it go?"

At this, Mulan lost control. "Horribly!" She cried. The tears streamed down her face, leaving trails of ruined makeup on her face. "It went horribly, no thanks to him!" She cried, as she pointed a finger at the serene looking Shang. "Why are you just standing there like that, like nothing happened! You ruined my only chance at ever finding a husband from the matchmaker!" She punched him hard in the stomach and ran off.

Lo Pei looked at him angrily. "What did you do?"

Shang smiled and shrugged. "Like she said, I ruined her only chance at ever finding a husband from the matchmaker."

"You feel proud?" Fa Li asked, shocked.

"Yes. Fa Li," He bowed. "I wish to be the one to marry your daughter."

Fa Li and Lo Pei smiled. "Do you think she'll accept you after that?"

Shang looked at Grandmother Fa and smiled at each other. "I think she'll understand." And they both gave each other a high five.

* * *

"Mulan, a visitor has come to see you," Fa Zhou appeared at the door of her room.

She wiped away a tear off her face and looked away from her father. "No thanks, father. I'm not really in the best mood to entertain right now."

Shang entered the room while she continued to look in the opposite direction. "Mulan?" He asked tentatively.

She looked up, surprised to see him there. After she recovered from initial shock, she glared at him and said, "What are you doing here, Shang? Haven't you already ruined my life enough for one day?"

He sat down next to her and whispered very gently, "I'm sorry. I just wanted you to know that there are plenty of young men that want to marry you, even though you didn't pass the matchmaker's test."

Lo Pei and Fa Zhou backed out of the room silently so as to leave the two lovers in peace.

Mulan scoffed. "Yeah right. Like who?"

He smiled at her and kissed her on the lips. "Like me."


End file.
